Who else is doing this? Do you feel like you are spiritually working things out with the other person? Are you processing out your feelings?
Honestly, all of the above. I do all of this.
Sometimes I feel like I am indeed connecting with someone's energy and we are able to talk about things that we can't get to in person. Sometimes we have grown apart, sometimes I'm too shy or I can't find the words, sometimes I doubt their reception. Regardless of the situation, I do do this.
Sometimes it's just me hashing my way through something. Slogging through all the layers, weeding away the distractions to sit with myself in all the complications. It can feel like the root issue is being dodged... sometimes the truth would rather stay hidden, or sometimes the truth is evolving, and maybe it was one thing, but you've learned and now it's this. Either way its confusing, and sometimes you are your best witness. I know for every conversation I have with another person, I've had with myself in a reflective listening phase. I want to be sure I've processed something before I've shared, as I don't want to go in cold if I can help it.
Maybe I'm controlling, maybe I'm avoidant, maybe I just like my privacy. I think its all fo them for me. Everyone has their own reasons. But I really enjoy reflecting and getting every last drop of something on my own before I go to someone else and share how I feel. It is all a part a process for me.
If I do this processing with myself, most things don't have to be talked about. I've found resolution on my own. As a highly sensitive person, this is sooooooo nice. I need that level of clarity and resolution to feel at peace. Honestly.
It also cuts down on the level of drama in my life if I work it out myself instead of needing to work it out with other people. I can just enjoy people and bring things up if I need to.
This was a bit of a derive. Please let me know if anything resonated with you! I'd love to know what lands, and what doesn't. All I'm doing is sharing my personal experience. Would love to know yours.
🙂 Heidi
// Originally posted on Instagram on September 4th, 2022.