You're super present but you're also, like, brutal

Hello everyone, Swetha again!⁠

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But aren’t you supposed to be nice?⁠

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Yeeah maybe. That depends on your definition of nice. There are a lot of things I do or say in my personal space that I don’t do in my counselling or teaching space - and vice versa. Sometimes what I have to say or do as a counsellor is not “nice”- it’s brutal.⁠

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In therapy I strive to model and maintain boundaries and limitations that will positively influence the therapeutic space and my clients’ work. This is not always pleasant because sometimes it involves me saying No, or me digging into pieces and places where clients don’t want to go (when they are ready to go, but don’t want to!). ⁠

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Is that brutal? As an experience it definitely can be. I know it’s the hot seat, and I know shifting and transforming is hard.⁠

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I also believe folks pay for/seek Counselling and practitioners to move forward from something - so yes we are present, but we also have to try to deliver what you came to us for.⁠

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What has your experience been in therapy or elsewhere with someone who was present and brutal? I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this!⁠

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Sending you good vibes!⁠

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-Swetha⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on February 5th, 2023.

staying in something that isn't good for me is killing me slowly

Hi Everyone, Swetha here!⁠

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The other side of staying in toxicity a tad longer than we should, am I right?⁠

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As I mentioned in a previous post, sometimes I tend to stay longer than I probably should - so I totally relate to this feeling. The lessons are great, being sure about walking away from situations is good, but when I’m not able to get away from something that I know is not good for me, I feel like I can’t breath.⁠

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It took me a long time to realize that feeling was anxiety.⁠

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Anxiety can take a toll on all of us, and sustained/acute anxiety can turn into a serious mental health crisis. So for me, this statement isn’t exaggerating at all. ⁠

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When I’m stuck in something that isn’t good, something has to shift, change, and/or transform - and if I can’t do those things with what is outside of me, I have to start working from within. It’s such hard and heart-breaking work. ⁠

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If this is resonating for you: don’t give up. Reach out to folks who can help you, lean on folks who are showing up for you, listen even when it’s hard, acknowledge this is hard, and give yourself a lot of grace.⁠

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All situations are temporary, some are not worth renewing or making permanent.

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Sending you good vibes,⁠

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-Swetha ⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 24th, 2023.

i had a crush on you in session

Hi Everyone, Swetha here!⁠

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Ooof! Awkward!⁠

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I can honestly say this is rare in my line of work because most folks come in for counselling when there is something they want to work on, and typically that’s not crushing on their therapist. ⁠

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However, I want to approach this statement to discuss BOUNDARIES. Sometimes folks really don’t see why I (and other practitioners like Heidi) can’t entertain these types of vibes. Speaking for myself, when I am in my therapist mode, I am deeply in my work. While I carry who I am with me into my work, I am focused on holding space for my clients. Lack of professional boundaries “contaminates” the therapeutic space and hinders healing. ⁠

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This is also why client/therapist relationships are governed by professional associations and their codes of ethics. There are a lot of “rules” when it comes to contact I can have as a therapist with my clients. ⁠

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What about practitioners who are not part of an official association per se but are still maintaining those strict professional boundaries? To that I say, YOU HAVE GOT YOURSELF A GOOD ONE. Enjoy that safe healing space. ⁠

Crush elsewhere. 🙃⁠

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Sending you all good vibes!⁠

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-Swetha⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 18th, 2023.