are pansexuality and bisexuality the same?

they're different. bisexuality sees difference in gender. pansexuality sees energies. that's the way i understand it. how do you understand it?⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on February 13th, 2022.

how come people like you but they don't like me?

Hi everyone, Heidi here.

Well, to be clear, not everyone likes me. And secondly, woah there Nelly, I'm just gonna dump this huge bucket of love on you because right now you need it. ⁠

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Who has felt this way? This is one shitty feeling. I wish I could say that no one has ever felt this way, but the truth is, I have never met someone who didn't feel this way at least once in their life. ⁠

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It's so natural to compare yourself to other people, and be envious of them, or think thoughts like these. Why me and not them. Sometimes it's because of systemic oppressions, for sure. But sometimes it's because we get locked into an either/or mentality where it's either me or you, and in most cases, it's both.⁠

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Try to be a little kinder to yourself. It's hard being a human in this world. It's so hard. It really is. And it only gets harder when you start thinking in spirals like these. These mindsets rarely leave us feeling good. Instead they drain all the energy out of us. ⁠

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Be vigilant with yourself. Stand up for yourself. If you hear your mind saying things like this to you, take a deep breath, ground into the earth, or whatever is around you and just be with yourself first, before listening to this stuff. ⁠

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Take a moment to feel who you are. To remember who you are. That you are a complex person with hopes and dreams, and good and bad, just like everyone around you, and that not everyone is meant for everyone else. It's ok to be specific.⁠

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Even if they didn't like you, it would still be ok. Not everyone will like you, and that's ok too. You only need a few good people in your life, a few meaningful connections. Not that instagram is built that way, but intimacy is. ⁠

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So please don't compare yourself to other people. It's not always that helpful, and most times, the thoughts you go to aren't even that true! Know that whatever mood you are in you are loveable, unique, and truly yourself. Be kind to yourself. Self correct, sure but don't be mean to yourself. ⁠

Lots of love,⁠

Heidi⁠

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Originally published on Instagram on March 27th, 2023

i want to be good at something.

Hey, Heidi here! Oh I feel you here. The desire to be good at something really hits a cord with me. Sometimes you just feel like you suck at everything, and nothing is working at all, and it gets all gummed up inside. In those times, I deeply desire to be good at something. ⁠

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The thing that's missing in those times is not that I am not good at many things, but that in those moments I don't feel them. I don't feel my best. It has nothing to do with not being the best at something, or having a strong point. ⁠

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How you feel and what your reality is are not always the same things. When you are moody and everything sucks, you suck, and everything you do sucks too. Try not to believe those moods as reality. Try to see that you are in a mood, and your mood is thinking those things. But that doesn't mean that you have no talent or inherently suck. ⁠

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Your value is the same whether you are in a good mood or not. Your talents exist whether you can see them or not. Even if you were truly terrible at everything you would still hold value. Your worth is not your skillset, you are more than a commodity, and you have something to give the world you're in. ⁠

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Who relates?⁠

All the love, Heidi⁠

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Originally published on Instagram on March 24th, 2023

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