staying in something that isn't good for me is killing me slowly

Hi Everyone, Swetha here!⁠

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The other side of staying in toxicity a tad longer than we should, am I right?⁠

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As I mentioned in a previous post, sometimes I tend to stay longer than I probably should - so I totally relate to this feeling. The lessons are great, being sure about walking away from situations is good, but when I’m not able to get away from something that I know is not good for me, I feel like I can’t breath.⁠

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It took me a long time to realize that feeling was anxiety.⁠

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Anxiety can take a toll on all of us, and sustained/acute anxiety can turn into a serious mental health crisis. So for me, this statement isn’t exaggerating at all. ⁠

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When I’m stuck in something that isn’t good, something has to shift, change, and/or transform - and if I can’t do those things with what is outside of me, I have to start working from within. It’s such hard and heart-breaking work. ⁠

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If this is resonating for you: don’t give up. Reach out to folks who can help you, lean on folks who are showing up for you, listen even when it’s hard, acknowledge this is hard, and give yourself a lot of grace.⁠

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All situations are temporary, some are not worth renewing or making permanent.

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Sending you good vibes,⁠

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-Swetha ⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 24th, 2023.

i changed my vibe and lost all my friends

Hi everyone, Swetha here!⁠

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I mean, we really shouldn’t be surprised when this happens, right? We attract folks according to our vibe, and when shifts happen within us OF COURSE the vibe changes, and OF COURSE the attraction changes. Sounds simple but when you overlay that with humans and our feelings, here comes the complexity! (Yay! Boo!)⁠

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Why did your vibe change?⁠

Was it necessary?⁠

Was it out of your control?⁠

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If you needed to shift something or a shift happened, that is the way life goes as human beings grow and move through life and relationships. The price we pay is that we can’t hold on to everyone/everything we collect as we grow and move through life. With each personal vibe change, and changes in relationships, there is grieving that probably needs to happen. Grief is not just for death and dying - grief is present in all our losses. It’s an opportunity to mourn, reflect, and appreciate the stuff that makes life real. ⁠

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It feels horrible. I know.⁠

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When it comes to losing friends, mourn the loss, reflect on the reasons, appreciate where they have carried you. If your vibe feels true to you, the lost folks were a part of the journey but not the destination.⁠

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Sending you all good vibes!⁠

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-Swetha⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 21st, 2023.

i had a crush on you in session

Hi Everyone, Swetha here!⁠

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Ooof! Awkward!⁠

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I can honestly say this is rare in my line of work because most folks come in for counselling when there is something they want to work on, and typically that’s not crushing on their therapist. ⁠

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However, I want to approach this statement to discuss BOUNDARIES. Sometimes folks really don’t see why I (and other practitioners like Heidi) can’t entertain these types of vibes. Speaking for myself, when I am in my therapist mode, I am deeply in my work. While I carry who I am with me into my work, I am focused on holding space for my clients. Lack of professional boundaries “contaminates” the therapeutic space and hinders healing. ⁠

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This is also why client/therapist relationships are governed by professional associations and their codes of ethics. There are a lot of “rules” when it comes to contact I can have as a therapist with my clients. ⁠

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What about practitioners who are not part of an official association per se but are still maintaining those strict professional boundaries? To that I say, YOU HAVE GOT YOURSELF A GOOD ONE. Enjoy that safe healing space. ⁠

Crush elsewhere. 🙃⁠

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Sending you all good vibes!⁠

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-Swetha⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 18th, 2023.