what does being demi-sexual mean for you?

Hi Everyone,⁠ Swetha here!⁠

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First, I want to acknowledge there are a lot of us who didn't get the space, strength, and acceptance to engage in questioning our sexuality and settled for accepting labels and categories others had for us. As a society we are better at creating space for LGBTQIAA2S+ folks now, but we are not “there” yet! ⁠

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Being demisexual can have many personal facets - my answer is rooted in my own journey of shedding labels and giving space for QUESTIONING that I needed to do earlier in my life. ⁠

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Demisexual for me means there is no desire without connection: A connection beyond materialistic and superficial definitions of “love” and ALSO beyond the volatility of emotions. In simple terms, I have to feel like there is a soul contract, or some kind of familiarity that I can’t quite explain before desire can take hold.⁠

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Waiting for the universe to throw me an intimate partner for fun times is frustrating but it’s also a non-negotiable (which is why Demisexuals are on the Asexual spectrum! We will abstain if we don’t feel the gain!). But when the universe does throw one my way - I’m never disappointed 😉 ⁠

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Sending you all good vibes!⁠

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-Swetha⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 9th, 2023.

how do you walk away from something that's really bad for you?

Hi everyone, Swetha here!

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How do I walk away from something that is really bad for me? ⁠

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To be honest, I don't always, at first. I fiercely believe in the potential for something/someone to go positively well. I don't expect perfection and I believe in transformation - which in turn has meant that sometimes I stay in toxicity for a tad longer than I should. ⁠

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Do I regret this? Sometimes. It takes me some time to remind myself that experiences lend themselves to my work, and my identity. However, if I can save you some trouble, I will share a conversation I have with myself that has made processing and walking away easier:⁠

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I ask myself if I would do the same TO someone else or expect the same FOR someone else. Who would I do this to? Who would I want this for? Why?⁠

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Sometimes we stay in the bad because it is familiar, and/or we are willing to put up with stuff we would never wish for someone else.⁠

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Knowing which part of the coin is activating for you is important before you can truly let go. ⁠

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If you keep going back, maybe - probably, the lesson is not over.⁠

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Sending good vibes,⁠

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-Swetha⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on January 6th, 2023.